


i'm a mess in america

by pristine_eye



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Angst, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Origin Story, Teen Angst, i just like the idea of him being a study abroad student so!!! here we are!!!, sweet story with a bittersweet ending, with tears and everything!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 23:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17517884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pristine_eye/pseuds/pristine_eye
Summary: "Why do you have an obsession with Dr. Pepper?"Saeyoung would never forget them, especially her. Before the RFA, before MC, before his secrets would be unleashed to the world, the brilliant hacker had found family in four other geniuses. He, unexpectedly, let himself grew close to people he had barely met. Saeyoung felt free and careless when he was with them, like everything in the world was alright. But of course, his life was never like that, and it wasn't going to be any different in America. He thought he wouldn't leave a trace when he left, but he left the biggest mark with this group of people.





	i'm a mess in america

**Author's Note:**

> Title and loosely (very loosely I just listened to it while writing this) inspired from Golden Girl by Frank Ocean ft Tyler the Creator, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkggNyE5ZoA
> 
> Clarification, this is set before the RFA was formed, but the events from his past and what will happen with MC still very much happened and will happen. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this story and let me know what you think of it! Thank you! <3

Selena Flores worked diligently in the California university library alongside three classmates as another classmate jammed along to his headphones, staring at out to look at the view. This was usually how most evenings were with this group of five. Sitting in a hidden lounge at the top floor of the library building with an assortment of chips, drinks, books, and calculators surrounding them. Well, most of them. The fifth one, the odd one out of this already group of outsiders, rarely did his work with them. He acted as their tutor, but most of the time he was listening to music and sitting on the lounge chair overlooking the campus and threw back jokes and commentary to them, or typing away furiously on his laptop.

“I’m stuck on problem 5,” the blonde girl with a heavy British accent next to Selena sighed, “Itsuki, lend me your brain for a moment, it’s my last problem before I’m done.”

Itsuki Hiyashi, a black haired Japanese native, chuckled. “What aren’t you getting, Mary? I thought this section was your baby, as you called it?”

Mary Edwards rolled her eyes. “It usually is but I think I’m having a stupid moment. Please?”

“Of course.”

Selena lifted her eyes to watch Mary hand her sheet over to Itsuki. Selena pursed her lips before turning to the other person next to her. “Hand me another Dr. Pepper would you, Jiawu?”

Jiawu Wang, hailing from China, gave his friend a small giggle. “Would this not be your third one? You must have an addiction to the drink.”

Selena laughed. “Mind your business!”

The fifth one, Luciel Choi as most knew him, let his eyes dart back to the scene taking place behind him and formed a small smile. He would never get over the way these types of moments leave him feeling. They all had found a home away from home in each other, and the banter and the quick advice from everyone really sealed the idea that the five were a small family. Or at least, that’s what he thought families were like. Comfortable with one another, not afraid to come to each other for help, love in its purest sense. Luciel never experienced what a good family was, so this was his first time trusting other people than the couple he met at church and his brother. He hoped the four would never find out about his past, and why he was here. He didn’t want this group dynamic to change, ever. He let his eyes fall on Selena. Her all-teeth smile really shone against her brilliant tan skin. She was practically glowing, she was beautiful, stunning.

While sipping on her drink, Selena got up and walked over to Luciel, noticing that he was looking at her intently. “You’re fairly quiet today Luciel.”

He shrugged then scrunched up his nose. “That’s your fourth Dr. Pepper.”

“Shut up!” Selena laughed. “I have a midterm in astronomy tomorrow so I’m stress consuming the junk.”

“All that soda is bad for your body,” He teased her. “You’ll end up stressing yourself more.”

“That’s a bridge I’ll cross when it comes to it Choi,” She leaned over and ruffled his hair. “Besides, you haven’t answered me, what’s your deal?”

“My deal?”

“Yeah, why are you so quiet?”

“Just thinking.”

“We’ve known each other about six months, you can tell me what’s bothering you, I won’t judge Luciel,” Selena said softly, giving him a reassuring smile before sipping her drink again.

In those six months, the two of them, well the rest of the group, found themselves to becoming closer than anyone really bargained for. All five, except for Selena, were foreigners to the states, but all five were a part of the same program. An early pathway for brilliant STEM students to come to the top colleges in the United States and start their dreams early on. By the time some of them were 25, most in this program would be set for their doctorates or already beginning on them.

Instead of going to the welcome week festivities, all five had the same idea it seemed; to explore the main campus’ library. All five found this hidden, but huge and modern, room in the corner the top floor. It was a gem, spacious, lots of outlets, lots of couches and tables, and room to decorate. Not wanting to give up their hideaway, they all promised to not tell other people if they all could utilize it. Sharing the same study space, and the same classes, meant they all became friends rather quickly, especially to the surprise of Luciel.

It felt so natural befriending the four. Besides being young geniuses, the five had a lot in common, especially when it came to interests. With all five having different cultural backgrounds, some weekends were spent just chilling in their hangout space sharing tales of home. Luciel usually reverted to talking about Korean food and politics, rarely bringing up personal stories. They all spent Thanksgiving in Jiawu’s dorm, as he was the only one who lived in a single dorm with a personal bath, having a huge sleepover and sharing food they all baked from the hall kitchen or bought from markets that sold authentic food, along with watching movies from their countries. Selena, being the only one from America despite still having strong ties to her Mexican background, was in charge of making sure the pizza and McDonald’s was plenty that night.

“Just normal stress I suppose. Please don’t worry about me, honestly.”

“I can’t help it Luciel,” She said but trailed off as she heard arguing from Mary and Itsuki, with Jiawu trying to diffuse the situation poorly. “Oh god!” She laughed, placing down her Dr. Pepper next to Luciel and set off to help out her friends.

He chuckled and turned up his music louder as he picked up her drink. Dr. Pepper was Selena’s signature drink, meaning everyone associated it with her. Actually, he was the only one in the group who didn’t have a significant drink or food tied to him.

Luciel gave it a sip and nodded to himself. Not bad. He gave it another sip, a longer one this time.

“That’s my drink Luciel,” Selena rushed to him and snatched it out of his hand. They both laughed.

He turned to Mary and Itsuki. “Are you both finished fighting? That quickly?”

“Oh shut it, Luciel” Mary glared, sitting deeper into her chair and folded her arms. “Actually, some sour gummies would brighten up my mood. Go get me some, Luciel.”

“No.”

“I wouldn’t mind some Lay’s chips actually,” Jiawu added.

“I want those powdered donuts Luciel,” Itsuki chimed in.

Selena giggled. “I’ll go with you dude. You owe me.”

“It was only two sips! Plus we still have more!” He whined but still stuck his wallet in his jacket pocket and began to walk out, Selena at his feet.

The two rode the elevator down in silence. It was when they were outside in the chilly air that Luciel spoke up first.

“Why do you have an obsession with Dr. Pepper?”

“Oh…” Selena seemed taken aback. She shrugged before answering. “It’s my comfort drink I guess, I don’t know. My go-to drink. No real reason. Why?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “You just seem to always be drinking it. You drink it more than water.”

“Not true!”

“It very much is Flores!”

“Ugh,” She groaned. “I hate you.”

Luciel just shook his head before stopping to look at the moon. He never got used to how pretty the moon painted the campus. Times like this, he thought his happy ending was imminent.

“It’s pretty isn’t it?” Selena smiled. “I love this place.”

“Me too,” He responded with equal softness.

They both stood there overlooking the scenery. The pair were in silence for a while before Selena made the first noise. She clenched up her fists and began to sniffle, trying hard not to cry.

Luciel looked over about to ask if the chilly weather was getting to her, but paused. He saw the tears welling up in her eyes and refrained. “Selena, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah.”

“No you aren’t.”

She rubbed her eyes, breathing deeply. “I just, I just really love it here. I’m sorry. I feel so happy here. I don’t want to leave.”

“Then don’t.”

“I might have to.”

“Huh?” He practically shouted.

She let out a shaking deep breath. “I mean… My family doesn’t have much money, that scholarship I got this year really helped. But… I just got word that I might not receive it since they usually give it to the first years of the program.”

“Oh no Selena,” Luciel winced and reached out to engulf her in a tight hug. “Why didn’t you say any of this before?”

She hugged him back, equally as tight. “I’m so embarrassed! Even now! You guys are loaded, and I’m so… I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Your problems are ours, how many times have we said this?”

“But this is a different type of problem, this is an adult problem. Plus if I can’t pay for a semester of the pathway program, how can I expect to pay after? I’m screwed, my dreams, gone, they’re gone,” Selena was sobbing into his chest.

He rubbed her back and let her cry as he pondered all the options, most were illegal. Only one other person, besides the agency he worked for, knew the real reason he was here. It wasn’t to study. Luciel had talents and capabilities that already surpassed most of the famed teachers he was being taught by. Of course, he had to dial it down but most did know of his intellect when it came to computers and programming. Many did not know he was a skilled hacker, on his way to becoming one of the best in the world.

“Hey, hey. When do they expect a payment or a decision?” He asked.

Selena sniffled and looked up. “Huh?”

“You belong here, Selena. With Itsuki, Mary, and Jiawu. You’re intelligent, you’re going to do great things in this world. Money won’t hold you back, I promise.”

“I don’t quite understand-.”

“Answer me, Selena,” He let go of her and stared down at her.

She scratched her head and shrugged. “Uh, well, um, my decision needs to be by spring break.”

All he did was nod. “Let’s go get their snacks before they start getting antsy.”

Selena followed behind him as we walked rather quickly towards the campus market. “I’m afraid I still don’t get just what happened exactly.”

“Just don’t mention this to anyone, okay?”

“Yeah, of course.”

From then on out, Selena tried her best to enjoy the most of school until March. She treasured her closest friends and made sure she was getting the most out of her studies. Luciel spoiled Selena more often, buying her meals and even outfits. The boys really didn’t pay any attention to it but Mary had her suspicions.

“Are you and Luciel dating? Because if you are, it’s okay to say.”

“No! He’s just being nice and all.”

“He looks at you with this cute face when you don’t notice, are you sure?”

“Yes I’m-, wait, what?”

Selena made sure to take pictures of everything and everyone, especially when they weren’t aware. She never wanted to forget her time here and the people, especially the people.

While Selena was busying herself with making and saving memories, Luciel was finishing up his mission. This was his initiation into his new agency, a worldwide and an elite one. Dangerous as well. He was also doubling tasking, ensuring that Selena would have no trouble staying in California to complete her higher education.

March approached quicker than expected. With his mission finished, he only needed to finish two things before leaving back to South Korea without a trace.

Luciel called for a group meeting at their usual hangout for Thursday evening. He needed to do this before he left, he had to. No matter the advice, of not having close ties to people and making goodbye’s short, he had to do this. These people showed, taught him, so much that he just couldn’t leave them with nothing.

Leave.

He let that word consume every moment until that day. That morning, he erased everything. His existence in America, proof that he was ever there, both physical and electronically, were gone. With a fake identity, he would be boarding a flight at midnight back to his home country.

Selena woke up that morning to an email from the dean of the school and the director of the program. A mysterious benefactor, through the local bank there, would be paying for the rest of her schooling, even after the program ended. It was all covered; any fees, tuition, housing both on and off campus, even books. That would only be the first time she would breakdown that day.

Clutching on to her bottle of Dr. Pepper, she entered their usual spot with a pep in her step.

“I see someone has woken up on the right side of their bed today,” Jiawu teased his brown-hair friend. “What has gotten into you?”

“Ah, nothing Jiawu!”

“Must be the Dr. Pepper then.”

“Oh, fuck off!” Selena emphasized the off.

Luciel leaned up against a desk, looking anxious, as he waited for the rest to file in. He clapped his hands to get their attention after moments of chatter. “Heyo! I have some words to say.”

“Well, no kidding. You made it seem like you would be announcing your US presidency here,” Itsuki joked.

“Hush it Hiyashi,” Luciel laughed. “Well, I’m not sure where to begin. Tomorrow you might find some weird things have happened, but never fear-!”

“707 has our back,” The four whined out the phrase they found to be too embarrassing to say.

“Exactly! I, Luciel Choi, have some exciting news. Tomorrow, I will not exist!” He extended out his arms and grinned.

“Excuse me, what do you mean?” Jiawu snorted.

“Oh, you’ll find out tomorrow, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Can you cut the dramatics Luciel, what’s going on?” Selena glared at the red head before her.

“I leave tonight, back to Korea.”

The room grew painfully silent as they pondered over his words. Leaving? Tonight? Why?

“You can’t be serious…” Mary whispered. “What’s the reason?”

“A matter that concerns none of you!”

“Luciel you’re our friend, you can’t just spring this on us! If you need help, we’ll help you, honest,” Selena choked up a bit.

“I can’t be honest about much, I’m sorry. You wouldn’t even believe me if I said so, we’re just kids.”

“You’re not making any sense pal,” Itsuki groaned. “Just come out with it.”

“I can’t, my dear Hiyashi! I was here to do something important, that doesn’t concern this school, that I will be honest about, and now its completed. I’m free to go!”

“Well, at least give us something so we can contact you,” Mary frowned. “Please?”

“I can’t.”

“What?!” All three shouted.

“You wouldn’t believe me, honest! I just need to say goodbye, it wouldn’t feel right just leaving.”

“Then don’t leave!” Selena said with a pleading tone.

His tone grew more serious. “Selena, you’re not making this any easier.”

“Good! Good, because it shouldn’t be easy. We’re your fucking friends Luciel.”

“She’s right Luciel,” Jiawu said softly. “Please be honest with us.”

“This is more or less for your safety. Like I said, I was only in America to do something. I need to leave, tonight.”

Silence fell over them again. “We’re going to miss you so much Luciel,” Mary sniffled out.

“I-I will too. A lot, I honestly think it’s worse on my end. To be honest, I’ve never had any real friends, so I am forever in your debt. You four mean so much to me, it’s unreal. Again, to be honest, I probably shouldn’t have done this, this friend thing. But you guys are just so irresistible!” He tried to lighten up the mood, more for himself. “It was hard, knowing I would have to leave you all in the end, but it was a sacrifice I had to make, even if I didn’t want to.”

Itsuki was the first one to jump up and hug him. “I still don’t understand, but I support you Luciel. Just know that no matter what, we’re always going to be here rooting for you. We’re always in your corner.”

Luciel returned the loving hug. “Thank you Itsuki, for a lot. I’m always going to be proud of you.”

Mary was right behind Itsuki. “You’re such an idiot,” She engulfed him into a hug next.

“I know, I know. You tell me every day,” He gladly returned her hug.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Luciel. More than you can imagine. You’re the smartest guy I’ve ever met, and probably will ever meet. Thank you and I love you.”

“Mary, of course I love you too. And thank you for those kind words,” He gave her a small kiss on her cheek before letting her go and pulling Jiawu into a hug.

“You really don’t have to go,” Jiawu breathed out sadly, hugging his friend tightly.

“I have to.”

“We’ll be here waiting for you, always. Count on us for anything. I love you, we’re right here.”

“I know Jiawu, I’m always going to count on you to have my back.”

They hugged for a while before releasing. He had one more person to worry about.

“Selena I’m sorry,” He wrapped her in a hug and kissed her forehead.

She was full on crying at this point. “Please stay.”

“I can’t.”

“I don’t care.”

He held on to her while she gripped on to him, letting her cry it out. “I will miss you a lot, Selena. I love you so much,” Luciel looked up to the rest of his friends, tears showing up in his own eyes. “I love you four so much. More than you can imagine.”

The rest ran to the pair and formed a group hug. Selena was the only one loudly sobbing as the other four let their tears fall down their face silently. No one wanted to let go, they were friends, and friends don’t let go.

Actual minutes went by as the five stood there in the hug before Luciel broke it apart.

“I really need to get going. Please don’t follow me,” He wiped at his eyes. “Just remember that I love you guys. A lot. And thank you. Kick ass out there, in the real world. You guys are so intelligent, I really can't wait to hear about the four of you in the future. I love you all.”

With those parting words, he walked out of the door.

Selena didn’t even give the door a chance to fully shut before she threw it open and sprinted after him. “Luciel! Luciel wait!” She ran after him, despite the protests from the rest of her friends, down the dark hallway. “Please, I have something to ask! Luciel!”

At that, he stopped and turned around to face her. “I said not to follow me.”

“Was it, was it you?” She asked breathlessly. “The anonymous benefactor? That’s you, isn’t it?”

“Selena-”

“Thank you, Luciel I don’t know how you did it, but thank you,” She gripped him into the tightest hug she could muster in her state.

He immediately hugged her back. He didn’t say anything.

“Thank you Luciel, for these seven months. They have meant the world to me.”

They continued to hug in silence. Neither of them wanted to let go, knowing that this would be their last time together, ever. Both of them were silently replaying back their last months together. All the laughs, adventures, schoolwork frustrations, food, tales, late night walks they shared. Unforgettable to them both.

“My name is Saeyoung.”

“Huh?”

“My real name is Saeyoung, I owe you that, at least.”

“Saeyoung,” She repeated with a smile. “Saeyoung.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I mean it this time, don’t follow me.”

Selena shook her head. “Thank you Saeyoung, I love you so much. Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” He kissed her head again before he let go. He shut his eyes all the way to the elevator. Saeyoung didn’t want to look at her, a symbol of what he was leaving behind. A golden girl, a golden life in America. He also couldn’t bear to see what state he had left her in.

Selena collapsed down to the floor, shaking. It wasn’t until his elevator hit the main floor that she let out a blood-curling sob.

* * *

MC gulped down their ramen as they turned to their husband, who’s eyes were focused on the television before him playing the international news. “Can I ask you a question, Saeyoung?”

“Mhm,” He responded absentmindedly.

“Why do you have an obsession with Dr. Pepper?” MC asked.

They noticed that his body had grew to be stiff at the question.

He flicked his eyes between their spouse and to the television. There, at the bottom of the screen, read **_‘Breaking News: Scientists, Dr. Selena Flores and Dr. Itsuki Hiyashi, Find Major Breakthrough In Space Travel’_**. They both looked so grown, both so happy, as they were giving their joint interview, especially her. Her glowing tan skin made her seem more like a model than a scientist. He wondered if any of those four ever thought of him like he thought of them, especially her. He wondered if she still liked Dr. Pepper now that she was a doctorate herself.

In Selena's wallet, only three pictures decorated the inside. One was a picture of her and Itsuki posing with their son Saeyoung, the other was the group photo of the five outside a diner, and the other was picture of Saeyoung Choi giving the camera a wide-eye genuine smile as he held up finger hearts. The rest of the three shared a copy of the last picture in all of their wallets, a tribute to their great friend. Only she knew his real name.

"No real reason."

**Author's Note:**

> For more clarification, yes he's young. I had in mind that he studied in America, with the help of the agency due to like an assignment, under a program for talented youths meaning he would've gotten closer to the other people in that program, hence Selena and the rest of them forming like a sub group since they're the oddities of the already odd and being around his age. If that makes sense? Young braniacs and whatnot.
> 
> Sorry for the lack of romance, but I felt it was good without it!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading!!!! :D


End file.
